In economics there is a popular term that goes something like this, “There is no such thing as a free lunch.” This refers to the fact that no matter whether you received something for free or not, there is an inherent cost in everything. Someone must grow the food, another cook it, another sell it, and someone else purchase it. No matter how you look at it, your metaphorical (or literal) lunch was in no way free. The same goes for a relationship with God.
No person in the history of man has had a good relationship that required nothing. The very idea of relationship shows that there must be a constant and relative amount of give and take. Can a health marriage exist between a husband and wife who don’t talk? Can a friendship exist between someone who talks about their feelings, and someone who is bitterly closed to their own emotion? If the answer for these is “no,” then why do we do this with God? If we believe in the idea that God is good, why do we act like he is ignoring us? If we believe God is big, why do we think he can’t really help us? The answer is simple. We are better friends with unbelief than God. That sounds harsh, but is it not true? Are we more comfortable in the presence of the comforter, or false comfort and coping mechanisms? I know that for me, when I hurt, my first instinct is to run to my computer or my cell phone. The God of the universe lives in me, and I would rather hide in my phone. This shows that my heart does not see God as he really is. It does not see me as I really am either.
So, why is this? Unbelief. There is more though. Unbelief is a belief in lies that you have made agreement with or excepted above the truth. Some of these are little things, but some you have believed for a long-long time. Many of these lies we made partnership with in our early years. Satan, is the accuser of the brethren and we grew up hearing lies from outside and silently partnered with them. They have warped our thinking, our understanding, and our image of ourselves and the world around us. So then, what is real? Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, the life.” The word that is used for truth can also translate as the word reality. If Christ is the foundation of our sense of reality, then the things that contradict that reality start to become apparent. This is one of the reasons that you must have a relationship with God. He relates to us as a person, not some force or blob of divine goo, but as a real living and breathing person. He speaks to you. He wars for you. He comes to comfort you.
How do we get free of these lies then? The simple answer is, Holy Spirit sets you free. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. If you have Holy Spirit living in you, and you actually have a relationship with him (aka you talk and spend time together,) then Holy Spirit will reveal the lies and lead you to repentance. Once you repent and turn from these things, then you will start to live differently. You will start to recognize the lies when they come up. The main point here is that Holy Spirit is the one who reveals these lies. If you go searching for them on your own, you may end up hurting yourself more. God is currently in the process of conforming us to the image of his son. He is perfecting us. What happens is we can get impatient, and give into unbelief, because we don’t really think God is good enough or powerful enough to finish working in us. Or we for some reason fight his perfect timing, because we think we know better. The word says that God’s word will not return to him void and that it will complete the work for which it was sent.
Back on subject, are we really letting God work in and through us? He can do what he wants, but he does allow us to resist. We can actually end up fighting him, because we do not understand who he is or who we are. I have done a bit of this lately. He has been going after some hurts and lies in my life from at least ten years ago, and my heart hurts. I think I have been spending more time fighting him than letting him heal those areas, but he is my Lord. When he asks to heal those areas, I give him all control. I have learned that he can do so much better of a job than I can. I tend to make things worse and make a fantastic mess. He is gentle. He is kind. Slow to anger and abounding in love. Who better to deal with my messes, than the one who designed me? The author and creator of this grand tale, who is orchestrating the greatest triumph and most glorious and beautiful victory creation has seen. Who better, than the one who restores in abundance, and gives back in multi-folds? I rather hand the surgery of my heart to the one who is the perfect surgeon, than attempt it with my own clumsy little hands. And yet, this leads to something even better.
You are not as you seem. You were meant for more than this. You are called to rule and reign as co-heirs with Christ. You are designed as his reward as he is also yours. To be one as God is one. We are called to be children of God, shaped in his own image. You were made for greatness. You were made for glory. To be loved. To be cherished. To be accepted. And he is restoring you to this. Making you to be as you were designed to be. Making you like Christ, the final Adam, through whom salvation came. You are to be born of spirit, filled with the Holy Spirit, in partnership with God, and together forever with him.