Two years ago, I was on my way to Japan. A return journey from one home to another; as well as a farewell to many people I love. Two years simultaneously feels like decades and a matter of minutes. Like a living a dream and waking up to find out those years were but hours in a long night. My time with YWAM Tokyo has felt a lot like that. Some days feel like overarching successes. Others feel like tragic losses. Like a plethora of thoughts and feelings, judgements and convictions crammed into a linear particle accelerator and fired at high velocity into a wall, just to see what survives. Needless to say, I have lost quite a few walls in the process.
It was worth it. I can say this with certainty. Many days, I cry myself to sleep. Many others, I go to bed with a smile on my face. Like trudging through wet cement and then flying on eagles wings. But no matter how hard or wonderful this has felt, it has been amazing because it is so much bigger than me. What if the trudging through wet cement clears the way for the next guy. What if my financial issues and victories bring break-though to someone else. No matter how hard it has been, I can say that I have no regrets. It has been so worth while, knowing day in and day out that this is where God has called me for this time.
In two weeks, I will be going back to Alaska. I don’t know what to expect. It terrifies me a bit, and at the same time I am ecstatic. It has been a long time since I have seen my family, and my heart aches to see them again. I am coming back after two years though. Life has continued on in my absence. What waits on the other side of the Pacific? What will I find upon my return? Will I be welcomed back, or be looked on in disdain? These fears plague my mind, but my heart is so excited. What does it know that the rest of me doesn’t get? I am also bringing home my best friend from Japan. A delightfully crazy person who will fit right in with my silly family. I am so excited.
I feel like Icarus. Chasing the sun. Wanting to get closer. Worried about burning up and falling back to earth. I feel like a fairytale character waiting to be smacked into reality and an insane person waiting to wake up in an asylum. I live a life of not normal and crazy risk, while attending meetings, moving, and balancing my budgets. It’s like having one hand in a cookie jar and simultaneously playing tug of war with the other one. A life of extremes, where complacency has to fight to hold on and a battle feels more at home than the halls of apathy. I think I am poetically rambling now, so let me caption this with something very clear. These past two years have been an amazing life altering experience that has been hellishly hard at times, and has been bringing me to the end of myself; I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now to the next question, what is next? Honestly, I have a vague idea. After traveling to Alaska and Washington, I am planning on returning to YWAM Tokyo. I will be DTS Staff on our June 2016 DTS. I have also been working on starting a Media Team at the base. With my girlfriend and some close friends, I am currently working on a major long-term art project that I will share about in the future. And for now, I will be staying with YWAM Tokyo, until God sends me some place else or until we launch teams to plant YWAM Bases in other parts of Japan, like Hokkaido.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. This would be so much harder without support from my friends and family from around the world who support and participate with me in all the work I do. You guys never fail to bless me. You have shown me a lot about what it means to be a Son of the King.
The picture above is YWAM Staff with some of the recent DTS Graduates.
For my supporters, I have printed out photo books for you from my first two years in Japan. You can see the PDF version here: